April 5, 2016
God determines the rise and fall of empires on the basis of nations’ recognition and acknowledgement of the LORD as LORD, and each person is a small nation of their own. In today’s QT, God warns through Ezekiel more about the fall of Egypt and its surrounding cities, trying to get them to change their heart. In today’s QT, God warns me through this QT about the fall of me, trying to get me to change my heart. Where is my heart? I’ve blessed with so much, and now in a time a peace and abundance, I’m chasing my own desires, rather than His kingdom. I’m caught up and stuck in a way that a teenage boy is, but as a 31 year old man. How sad, and yet also how wonderful.
Yesterday, someone sent me a message about my last QT, someone who I’ve prayed for their faith, and she seemed to have opened up a lot more over time. I ask her for prayer request, and she said she didn’t want to share because it’s a risk, a risk that she might not get the reaction that she needs when she opens herself up. And couple of things struck me. First it was apparent that something was burdening her, so I asked her if she knew what it meant to pray. She said it was to have a conversation with God, which is right, but the one I wanted her to know was that it’s also to lay down your burdens before God. I wasn’t most spiritually awake yesterday, so I felt bad that I wasn’t myself fully laying down my burdens before God. And I made the logical argument that those people who do not take the risk to open up because they’re afraid they’re not going to get the reaction they need, will never get the reaction they need because they didn’t take the risk. And I thought I wasn’t one of those people, but I am, sadly. I recently took a big risk, and I’m still waiting for a full reaction, and it’s a bit unnerving. But besides that, in general, in life, in social situations, I don’t really fully open up and take risks. I thought I didn’t have this problem, because well I don’t have any problem sharing my prayer requests of all kinds, but when it comes to less serious, and more social and entertainment situations, I don’t, and I don’t really know why. I suppose there are many fine lines that should not be crossed in those types of situations, and I am trying to stay well clear for crossing those lines, instead of pushing right up to it, without crossing it. I don’t know. I had a really good dream this morning. I was sad it was just a dream. I hope it comes true. Though, back in high school, I dreamt that I got into this school and my friend didn’t, but in turned out that day that she got in, and I didn’t. But it all turned out well in the end, didn’t it :)
Application: pray at least 15 minutes, read at least 1 chapter