October 5, 2015
Today’s QT makes me reflect on couple of things. How did I get to where I am today, to be receiving so much blessings, and how am I using all the blessings. And I find myself asking myself, have I become too lazy to love? Have I become too stupid to think anything is mine.
In today’s QT, Israel’s prostitution of her beauty, the blessing God gave Israel, is caused by Israel forgetting where she came from, God. I must never myself forget where I came from. There are some things that I lack, but I’ve already been blessed with so much, and these blessings compare nothing against the greatest blessing who is the LORD. The world would like to say that I worked for it, that I deserve it, that I’m entitled to it, that I can do what I want with it, and I’m scared to find myself think selfishly like this now and then, especially when I’m trying love some people who make it difficult to love, those who probably need love the most. I tell myself I can only do as much as my faith allows, and this is true, but at the same time, since I’ve been praying for greater faith, and perhaps God is sending me ways to practice my faith for stronger faith. Yet I am tired, already very stretched out, if I can do it with joy, perhaps that’s as far as I should go, then just pray for sinfulness and my shortcomings. As much as God loves those who HE wants me to love, HE loves me more. Even the very reason HE wants me to love them is so that I can love Him. It’s a very thin line, and tough to balance. In the end, I can only do as much as my faith allows, but by doing as much as I can at my faith’s limit without losing joy, my faith seems to stretch and grow little by little.
Walking with Jesus isn’t easy, but there’s no other way to walk. You either dig and crawl aimlessly in misery, or walk with Jesus.
Application: clean apartment, fix car, make dinner