September 26, 2015
Today, God showed and pointed out to me all the things that have turned wrong in me, and just how much my happiness relied on situations before my eyes, and not just the LORD himself. I was sad that I was not happy just to have the LORD by my side, but I so dearly yearned for something else as well. In some ways, it’s only natural, but how much a little change of situation got to my feelings of joy of salvation once again showed me just how weak my faith is in Him, and how I am taking for granted all the wonderful gifts God has put in my life, and how selfish me, and my prayers have become past few weeks. I was sad, and in despair, and there was nothing I can do, but to call on Him, and to pray for others, and to just read the Word and rely on the Word, and just hold on to Him with my dear life, and then right there and then, before, during, and after my prayers and time with the Word, HE did things that amazed me, and it shed light on all my flaws, and woke me up spiritually. It was a sign for me from God that HE’s listening, and that I can trust HIM, whatever happens, and all I need to do is to seek HIM, trust HIM, and trust HIM alone. Whatever happens this way or that in little ways is nothing against the hand of God. What HE will, will happen, in His time, in the best of ways. The signs are everywhere if recognized. HE is alive, and well, and HE wants my heart more than how much I want the heart that I want. HE’s been there all my life. HE’s still there, and will always be there. It’s a shame that my faith in Him is still so weak, but HE continues to draw and grow me close to him. HE is amazing.
Application: work on NYBC website, be excited for worship seminar tonight