March 17, 2015
Almost skipped QT today because I was preoccupied with some urgent matter, but these are urgent matters are not as urgent as staying awake spiritually. In today’s QT, the disciples go to Jesus’s tomb, only to find that Jesus is not there. The disciples do not know what is going on.
I recently went to a magic show. And someone long time ago told me and it is possible that Jesus pulled a magic trick. There are also movies where magicians fake their death. If there was a time machine, and I could go back to Jesus’ time, the medicine and technology I have access to in today’s times would be considered miraculous at those times. I would be a mage, and I could fire a gun, and pretend it’s a fireball.
There are infinite possibilities, but one thing happened. I cannot know for sure, and even the people like the disciples who saw what happened did not know what was going on when it happened. A doubter might say Jesus was behind the curtain of the tombstone like how a magician covers his tricks behind a curtain. Yet another doubter might say maybe Jesus had a twin. There are infinite number of these possibilities, and just one of them happened. Some theoretical physicists might even say that all of those possibilties has happened, but we live in one of those possibilities.
Then, what happened? Is it possible know for sure? But if you start asking that kind of question, is it possible to know anything for sure, except the fact that you exist? I mean I don’t really know for sure that anything I see, touch, feel exist. This computer in front of me, this keyboard I’m typing on, this floor that I’m standing on, who know’s if I’m inside the matrix?
So, under these circumstances, there are two directions you can take. I can either not know anything for sure, or believe in things. I’ve tried both directions, well maybe the former is a path of lack of directions, and ladder is a direction, but I can say that my perception of the world is night and day different depending on which way you decide to go. If you have never truly believed in Jesus, and that there is an all-powerful, all-knowing God who created it all, who loves you, knows you by the name, then you only know one way of living. I only knew this one way of living, and in that way, the world I perceived was a wild world, out of control, scary, one where your sole purpose is to survive. What kind of world is a world where you have to survive it? After much debate with myself, and searching the bible for answers, I decided to believe, my perception of the world changed. The world I now perceived was a beautiful creation, and it’s not a world you have to fight to survive, but it’s a world you have to love.
Now, I also see some people going the other way around. People who were born inside a faithful family, and blessed because of such in many ways, believing to start with, and in that sense, I would assume that they only know one way of living as a believer. And it seems many of these types of people feel they have to try going the other way. I really have no idea what their life experience is like, I’m assuming they are curious, and feel the need to experiment with their life. I wish there are things I can say to them that will save them a lot of trouble and pains, but I don’t know anything I can say that will do that. The bible is probably the only thing that can save them from themselves, but they probably wouldn’t be on that path had they been taking in the Word seriously. What can even a parent do except to pray in such situations.
I wonder if I’m making the same kind of mistakes in terms of what I am looking for in a wife. The eyes want what the eyes want, but might going for what the eyes want bring much pain and suffering? Am I curious about this and want to experiment? Will it work out in the end? The other day, in bible study, while we were discussing how difficult it is for two people to match each others wants and needs, and the directions, for a split second I thought, it it better not to marry? Apostle Paul thinks so, but I think the loneliness and the temptations would be too much for me to bare. One thing for sure is that she has to have faith. Stronger the faith, the better we’ll get along, and easier it will be to live together. Weaker the faith, more exposed to traps of sin, more likely we’ll have needless problems. What I can’t decide for the world of me is if it comes down to stronger faith vs prettier face, what will make me more happy. The holy spirit seems to be telling me stronger faith. My body seems to be telling me prettier face. My optimistic self tells me maybe there is someone who has both. My pessimistic self tells me there is no one with both. God, please lead me toward the right person, and give me the wisdom to know what’s best for me.
Application: work hard, pray before going to sleep