I had a long Facebook chat with a friend of mine last night. She was with troubled heart. In today’s QT, one of the things Jesus says is “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." She said she was contemplating life, and that whatever she was contemplating, it reminded her of my struggles and unending faith. She’s known me and worked with me as a co-op for my company while I was going through some of the toughest time of my life when I was homeless and living in my old office, most importantly without faith, and she sees me now. She said she can’t find a place for herself in a career or socially. I tried to explain to her how that might be related to her underlying feelings, though, and beliefs. I know from other bible studies I’ve had in the past that whenever these things happen, God is working in her life to draw her towards him, and wants me to assist, and these things happen right there and then only, and I must either join his work or miss out. So, I tried best I could to explain some of the things that I believe, and this was kind of spur of the moment type of thing, so there was no explicit preparation, and I just winged it praying and asking the holy spirit for help. It turns out this is kind of my “testimony” I’ve been trying to organize into words since January. And my heart too has been a little troubled past week. I’ve been kind of lazy about my seven deadly sins bible study, ironically studying about sin of sloth itself this week, while focusing hard on some exciting developments of my business and kind of losing my grip on priority. After cell group meeting yesterday, I tried to get a fresh start, and then all of a sudden she hits me for this chat. Now, looking back, I see that maybe God was helping me. Helping me organize my faith, get a fresh start, renew my love and reason for living.
Application: catch up on bible study with enthusiastic heart
Friend: ...How's it going?
It's going well, what's up?
Friend: Nothing important. Just wanted to see how you were doing
cool, how are you doing?
Friend: I'm doing okay
What are you up to?
Friend: Bad things? Contemplating life.
Friend: I'm just contemplating life
Friend: And whatever I'm contemplating reminded me of you and mosaically
Friend: Your struggles and unending faith
what kind of contemplation are you doing on life?
Friend: "Why do struggles blind us?"
Are you struggling?
Friend: "Why is Lent a time of suffering?"
Friend: I can't find a place for myself in a career, or socially.
Friend: And because I haven't found that place yet I can't afford certain things I need. Or missuse my time
Well, here is the thing
career, social things are surface
below the surface, are you feelings
and below your feelings, are your thoughts
or the way you think
and your thinking is dependent on what you believe to be true in this world
there are things you don't know and you just can't know
i chose to ignore these things back in high school
Friend: So what about the things you do know
because I thought they were waste of time to ponder, because there was no way to know
the problem is
ignoring these things put me in a state of uncertainty
because I didn't know who I am
Without knowing who I am, everything above all the way up to the surface are shaky
That was my problem
When I was interacting with people
I didn't really know what to do
Because I didn't know who I was
I thought maybe my knowledge, my experience, my thoughts, my work/career defined who I was
There is value in those things
But those things do not put value on me
If I define myself based on those things, my self-worth can't be anything but low
And if I have low self-worth, then others value me less
But when I decided to take a leap of faith
And consider the possibility that maybe what's stated in the bible is in fact the truth
And tried to operate based on those beliefs rather than no-belief in anything(because there was no way for me to know for sure of anything)
Things started changing
The bible says that I am, we are, God's creation
The bible says that all-knowing, all-powerful God reigns in this world
The bible says that the problems that we have are because of our sin within us planted by the devil who also reigns in this world
Bible says that God loves us, and wants to be with us
But because God is good, perfect, and holy, our sins prevent us from having a relationship with God
Friend: That's crushing because nothing, except the grace of God, can ever make someone a believer
So God sent his only son Jesus to pay for our sins
He was sinless, and therefore worthy of sacrifice to pay for our sins, once and for all
So he suffered and died on the cross
But he came back to life
And went to heaven to be next to God
So that there can be a way for us sinful people to be justified with God, to have relationship with God through Jesus
That anyone who believes in him will be saved by grace
Will not see death, and will go to heaven, and not hell